Hey, there. As I sit down to write this month’s reflection post, I’m not even sure where to begin. I almost didn’t begin, because I’m fluctuating between the ability to write and the need to curl up in a ball on my couch and process the chaos in this world.
The emotional stress of the time period we are living in is affecting me and everyone around me. I share this so you too know you’re not alone. Over the weekend, just as I was feeling swallowed up by the news, my phone rang and a friend told me how she was doing.
“Yeah, same,” I said over and over.
I hate that there’s a comfort knowing others are also feeling the relentless lack of control over our futures while trying to hold it together and live for today.
This week the shift that I knew was coming, flooded in. I now know people directly affected by COVID-19, and am learning about job loss, hospitalizations, deaths and funerals that are limited to 10 close family members only.
It’s a lot to process.
Over the weekend I heard from several friends who said things like “I’m spiraling.” “I’m a mess.” “Life is fucked.” “I’m taking it day by day.” This is hard stuff, my friend. And if there’s one thing I can offer, it’s that there’s no shame in reaching out to a trusted friend, family member or mental health counselor to discuss what you’re experiencing.
This pandemic is a trauma. It will affect you.
I guarantee, your sentiments are not unique. Having someone listen, empathize and maybe even offer guidance is valuable and uplifting. In the meantime, always, always, show up for yourself, as I mentioned last week. You are the only person responsible for taking care of you.
To get a bit personal, and link back to previous health topics I’ve discussed here on the blog, I’m working closely with my therapist during this time. The current global pandemic is resurrecting emotions attached to past traumas and making life difficult. I’m leaning into all the tools I’ve learned during trauma therapy and am taking the best care of myself — ever. I’m managing the situation, learning and growing through all of this.
Now, if my body can hold up too, I’ll be thrilled.
As you know I fall into the high-risk category of immunocompromised people. I have three autoimmune conditions and am a Steven Johnson Syndrome survivor, which makes me susceptible to future SJS encounters. I’m taking all the precautions to heart and have only left my home for groceries, outdoor exercise and important appointments. I will continue to be diligent and mindful of my health, and that of those around me.
As I type this, I realize I’ve veered away from my usual monthly round-up. I often talk about what I’ve been writing and how I’ve been making healthier choices, but it just doesn’t feel as important right now. But, yes, I’m still working daily to complete client projects and keep my websites running. I’m also trying to post snippets of daily life on my social accounts, including Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.
I’m going to close here. Know that I appreciate every check-in phone call, video chat, Zoom meeting and message that’s popped into my inboxes. I may not always have words to share during this time of uncertainty and confusion, but I’m living through this right alongside you. I see you. I hear you.
Be well, my friend.
Until next time,
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