This morning, a friend in France asked if the news she’s hearing about the United States is true. I don’t know how their outlets report on foreign affairs, so I told her some of what’s going on based on what I see and hear.
She asked if I’m ok and if I’m staying in good spirits.
I paused and reflected for a moment. The daily headlines revolving around violence and lack of safety are scary. However, I’m not turning this into a political discussion.
Instead, I want to focus on how we can better manage our day-to-day lives when everything around us is tough. This focus could relate to the news, personal challenges, work issues, chronic illness or really anything that’s just a lot to manage.
Here’s what I’ve learned over the years when navigating hard times.
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Lean In To Gratitude
Instead of focusing on what you’ve lost or fear, take a moment to be thankful for what you do have. Sometimes my gratitude lists get pretty simple, like giving thanks for clean water, a working furnace and food in my refrigerator. Sometimes I go bigger and have gratitude for my dog, my writing projects and my home.
I’ve heard that it’s most effective and mood boosting, to either speak your gratitude list out loud or to write it down. Just thinking it in your head isn’t as impactful for your brain.
I know when things are hard, it’s easy to feel like everything is going wrong, but it isn’t. Pausing and focusing on gratitude can pull you out of a down mood and help you remember what is going right in your life.
Feel The Heavy, Then Let It Go
Managing hard things doesn’t mean putting on a smile and pretending everything is OK. It’s healthier mentally and physically to name your difficult feelings–such as anger, sadness, confusion, fear or guilt–and allow yourself to have a moment with them.
Think about them and process them. Maybe you talk with a trusted friend, or a mental health therapist. I enjoy journaling. Once you express the heaviness, then it’s easier to move through and past it.
I know this is easier said than done, and sometimes processing takes weeks, months or years depending on the situation. Eventually, the heaviness gets a little lighter, and over time, you can let go of the sting associated with the situation. This doesn’t mean forgetting; it simply means not letting the situation weigh you down any longer.
Do More of What Makes You Happy
Turn your focus inward and give yourself some grace. Then, add more things to your day that give you little moments of joy.
Play your favorite music. Rekindle old hobbies. Go for a walk. Call a friend. Watch a movie. It’s perfectly fine, and actually a good idea, to find moments of happiness even when things are heavy.
I used to feel guilty for having a good day when I was in the deep end of the grief pool, but I learned that two things can co-exist: grieving and healing. It OK to feel a mix of feelings.
Limit Your Exposure to The Situation
Finally, if possible, stay away from the heavy news, people or situations. Some days, I limit my news watching and reading to give my brain a break. It doesn’t mean I’m ignoring the headlines, but rather, I’m focusing on my needs and will catch up later.
We have access to information 24/7. It’s fine to take a break from being on, available and involved with the heavy thing. It’s ok to not answer phone calls. It’s OK to take a PTO day from work. It’s OK to tell someone you don’t want to talk about the heavy topic.
Focus on Your Wellbeing
It’s easy to get overwhelmed, outraged or even depressed when managing something heavy. My number one bit of advice is to pause and pivot. Focus on yourself.
What do you need to have a better day? Do that.
Until next time,
Choose healthy!
Angela
