I Can’t Go Today

I wrote this post a few months ago, as a rheumatoid arthritis flare was revving up. I could feel my body shutting down and frustration rising. I chose not to publish it because it felt too whiney. I didn’t want people to feel sorry for me.

But, this is my life, and that’s OK.

I’m working on better managing my health issues and decided that I do want to share this post because it might give inspiration to someone who faces the same daily battles with fatigue, nausea and pain.

There are good days and bad days. You are not alone.

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I’m sorry. I can’t go out today.

My arms feel like jelly. My brain is in a cloud. Everything is aching. I’m using my energy to rise from bed, eat something and hopefully make it to my desk to earn a living for a few hours.

The fatigue, swelling and nausea from an RA flare comes without warning.

I’m sorry. I can’t go out today.

I miss my friends and going to the gym. I’ll give the dogs extra snuggles because they are my cheerleaders to make it through the day. We all hope this black cloud lifts and takes the fever and joint pain with it so we can enjoy the evening.

I can’t make plans ahead of time, without adding “maybe” to the reply.

I’m sorry. I can’t go out today.

I’m taking care of myself. I’m working on boosting my immune system through rest, nutrition, aromatherapy and self-care. Chronic illness makes you acknowledge — every minute of the day — if you’re making healthy decisions or succumbing to the unending fatigue.

These issues have been a ray of sunshine.

Without the awareness, I wouldn’t be as health-conscious as I am today. I make better decisions, eat healthier meals and explore new forms of wellness regularly.

Daily, I fight to keep my body in the best shape possible.

I’m sorry. I can’t go out today.

Until next time,
Choose healthy!
Angela

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